tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23796545010469482302024-03-14T00:36:58.613-04:00They Will Use You For FoodEddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-22189290756951782242010-09-28T11:30:00.009-04:002010-09-28T12:16:14.564-04:00New Listing<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxO-FXIvY2r-MCAHI5Kkh5YQqV8Wpz0b25NAHpedEshefR2ya68GrEaF3E6i_Li10dOYpB16bQAU9MI-w31EbPABrsVoQVlhQCjN9LNt0w-vtkH50LwbSz9mJiN6ljf2PYPo82z453_Js7/s1600/HorrorHouse1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521988586863105154" style="WIDTH: 308px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxO-FXIvY2r-MCAHI5Kkh5YQqV8Wpz0b25NAHpedEshefR2ya68GrEaF3E6i_Li10dOYpB16bQAU9MI-w31EbPABrsVoQVlhQCjN9LNt0w-vtkH50LwbSz9mJiN6ljf2PYPo82z453_Js7/s400/HorrorHouse1.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><div></div><div></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">Spacious modified castle offering 6 large bedrooms on 2nd level, eat-in kitchen, formal dining room w/fireplace and built-ins, living room & family room. Additional amenities include:<br /><br /></span></div><div> </div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span> </div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwoU9F0t0r-PUib1J8sfVIAdMaIAAQ4NwBODZaGm3L98p0D_AYCbbOdc9d2FLSN7nu3mC0xmx7ME7HEjsAk83NrQ8K42JIlJxfxyV6jViM7u7gIF47uP4C3FtFnbEUdP7Wx25ebgJMQrkd/s1600/HorrorHouse2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5521994692387560610" style="WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwoU9F0t0r-PUib1J8sfVIAdMaIAAQ4NwBODZaGm3L98p0D_AYCbbOdc9d2FLSN7nu3mC0xmx7ME7HEjsAk83NrQ8K42JIlJxfxyV6jViM7u7gIF47uP4C3FtFnbEUdP7Wx25ebgJMQrkd/s400/HorrorHouse2.jpg" border="0" /></a></span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span> </div><ul><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Room of Eyeballs</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Whitch World</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Lake of Blood</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Scull Heads</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Goast Alley</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Knight Ax</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Librery</span></li></ul><div> </div><div><span style="font-family:verdana;">Property is owned by the architect who has set the asking price at "nine hundred and ninety nine moneys." Serious offers only.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#ffffff;">EM</span></div><br /><div></div></div>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-8044914049388951792010-09-22T18:45:00.012-04:002010-09-23T13:24:55.318-04:00Listen Up, Fairy<span style="font-family:verdana;">The Kid lost two teeth in two days. After the first one came out, he wrote a letter to the Tooth Fairy requesting the following:</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">A book about how to become a Musketeer.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">A Musketeer costume.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">A Musketeer sword (which he promised -- "cross my heart, ten times" -- to not use on people, only bullies).</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">And a bookmark (so that he can keep his place in the book about how to become a Musketeer).</span></li></ul><span style="font-family:Verdana;">The Tooth Fairy did not leave any of these things. Instead, she left a set of Spider-Man markers.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">While this gift was received with gratitude, The Kid was not shy about communicating just how little it had to do with his request.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">After the second tooth fell out, he sat down and wrote the following. (Transcipt follows.)</span><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimCINaCoq0VJSSZuSYx_oSZjwbNJ9lmQwjafSkmhl5npXPbB2_xJfFnJTB_-ks9UaIx01ekIsIxuFSkJWqbvLihl3iw1FWWZ86noe4k1sAR7WIbcUSiH7ctX31GzsEm-83tkCBkeHX879w/s1600/ToothFairy.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5519889028428458290" style="WIDTH: 314px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimCINaCoq0VJSSZuSYx_oSZjwbNJ9lmQwjafSkmhl5npXPbB2_xJfFnJTB_-ks9UaIx01ekIsIxuFSkJWqbvLihl3iw1FWWZ86noe4k1sAR7WIbcUSiH7ctX31GzsEm-83tkCBkeHX879w/s400/ToothFairy.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><strong>Dear Tooth Fairy:</strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><strong>This is a real bluddy tooth. It is not a white rock. It is not a white pebble and it is NOT ... a <u>ROCK </u>that has been painted in red paint to look like blood. IT IS A REAL TOOTH. Please get my four items.</strong></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><strong>Love,<br />Henry<br /></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I'm not exactly sure where he got the idea that the Tooth Fairy doubted the authenticity of the first tooth and that her skepticism informed her choice of gift.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I'll let you know if she delivers the goods this time around.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#ffffff;">EM</span>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-58246724749549543142010-06-30T14:14:00.006-04:002010-06-30T15:57:32.636-04:00Additional Questions for Elena Kagan<span style="font-family:verdana;">1. The 1954 Brown v. Board of Education decision overruled the 1896 Plessy v. Ferguson ruling that "separate but equal" facilities for African Americans and whites were constitutional. Which is the better album </span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>Stand!</em></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"> or </span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>Let It Bleed</em></span><span style="font-family:verdana;">?<br /><br />2. In Berghuis v. Thompkins, the court eroded the landmark 1966 Miranda v. Arizona opinion holding that a suspect had a constitutional right to remain silent. Would you say you’re more of a Miranda or a Samantha?<br /><br />3. Observers believe that your service in President Clinton's White House shows that you hold broad views of presidential power to, for example, detain terrorism suspects indefinitely. Would you support an executive order that puts Morrissey and Marr back in the studio together?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">4. Some justices consult international law when they resolve issues, such as whether evolving standards of decency preclude the juvenile death penalty because it is cruel and unusual punishment under the Eighth Amendment. That aside: Alito, Scalia, Thomas—F, Marry or Kill?</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;color:#ffffff;">EM</span>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-39418752100973692352010-06-01T07:01:00.000-04:002010-06-01T07:01:00.598-04:00All-Purpose Cover Letter<span style="font-family:verdana;">To: Big Time Publisher</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Re: My Kickass Manuscript</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Dear Person Who Couldn't Care Less But Should:<br /><br />You don't know me, but I'm awesome. Me me me. Awesome awesome awesome. You should buy my shit and sell it and we'll both make gobs of money.<br /><br />So-and-so thinks I'm awesome. Don't believe me? Check out WRITTEN PROOF OF MY AWESOMENESS enclosed herein.<br /><br />I'm sure you get letters everyday from people telling you how awesome they are. Well, I can assure they're not. In fact, those people are dicks. How do I know? Look at my shit (and how awesome it is) then compare it to their shitty shit.<br /><br />Case closed.<br /><br />Don't be like that guy who didn't sign The Beatles when he had a chance. That guy fucked it big time and you will fuck it even BIGGER time if you don't take me on today.<br /><br />Did I mention I'm awesome?<br /><br />Do me a favor ... take all that other shit on your desk and light it on fire. Right now. DO IT. Now cut me a big check that says "For awesomeness" on the memo line.<br /><br />Thank you in advance for your consideration.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#ffffff;">EM</span>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-85058833262629426742010-05-27T17:13:00.015-04:002010-05-27T17:34:02.218-04:00What Am I Dealing With Here?<span style="font-family:verdana;">Innocent youngster just learning to spell or precocious hipster taking a stab at drug humor?</span><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhinPIy6PsFe-cZGNjNgVYuZM1fTHnzDk0Haqef7AH32A75IRLWcBoXnxY87_dfZcTeKwBibiTGmW1yqCgynRli_HSBv3JuBUl2juXwOfenLIqjAyMZdWpnwoqtDHjfkFtEFUtgmCqUT2no/s1600/Buzz.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476063038106666866" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 246px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhinPIy6PsFe-cZGNjNgVYuZM1fTHnzDk0Haqef7AH32A75IRLWcBoXnxY87_dfZcTeKwBibiTGmW1yqCgynRli_HSBv3JuBUl2juXwOfenLIqjAyMZdWpnwoqtDHjfkFtEFUtgmCqUT2no/s400/Buzz.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcO0wl-UYQ9-jLHP5_dlByAL10PfWzSaohq3bwBRTMEgo0YgTev7WKXwwLY9Jsw4EUTVP4x4xj35-PrKItvUtoSZvuhCLj5JZH5SPfgIMMFIKi2VLnMKb5yMC_ZdUZIRzCm6FC0OTRTEar/s1600/scan0001.jpg"></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPpm-MbACqhjmGFESzaMZMcDePSI2BuxMpNT72GMkaFazhsioDSZHaKGgCHZ-SwzFVE8VywoudNG7cTnDcpAZHa47K1Kd15BqAQmAnxlbYhZAbfqZOzt-YVO-T5RiQW9_MbGoZDOIL7nxt/s1600/scan0001.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhyleLSPqmIH3g6IX5TEWtKYFuWVCefMqoWrQRoRqX1EE3p1-lG3Jmm7ki9TcNnYSlG7zBDOpCTiNuyYQGnbisRcHHkaJZNwwjoYo_i7DeXcHzBqzNK3KM5eSEDqNb1stvtI8Ocw90Xq4c/s1600/scan0001.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div></div>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-63353640150758138442009-06-23T14:29:00.001-04:002009-06-23T14:39:47.054-04:00From the Warner Bros. Archive<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh_PsDnSZl1rODpsf-deQRttsfteOzLv2fslrfty2sOIfUxoU2ZVvAlPJ9wdcWNyrfEk1WG3hVb6Symle1gTwWNeoixqqdkO2llOZHJdMah01mps77tR3cD_8VApnIDMvZmNwTHP0Y8CDq/s1600-h/Pepe+Le+Pew+2.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350591138621238962" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 195px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh_PsDnSZl1rODpsf-deQRttsfteOzLv2fslrfty2sOIfUxoU2ZVvAlPJ9wdcWNyrfEk1WG3hVb6Symle1gTwWNeoixqqdkO2llOZHJdMah01mps77tR3cD_8VApnIDMvZmNwTHP0Y8CDq/s200/Pepe+Le+Pew+2.JPG" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>TO: CHUCK JONES<br /></strong></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>FROM: WARNER BROS. STANDARDS & PRACTICES<br /></strong></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>Re: "ODOR-ABLE KITTY"<br /></strong><br />Dear Mr. Jones:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">While we appreciate the wit and craftsmanship on display in your new film, we take issue with your depiction of </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">a false skunk being menaced by a very real, French-accented rapist skunk.<br /><br />Though the skunk fails in his amorous pursuit, we still fear this film has the potential to offend a number of different groups including:</span><br /><p> </p><ul><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">The French - who are known to be foul smelling.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Women's Rights Advocates - as the attempted fornication between skunk and false skunk is played for laughs rather than explored with genuine sensitivity.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Racial Purists - who may perceive tacit approval of inter-breeding in your portrayal of a cat-fucking skunk.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Animal lovers - who probably know something about skunks that we don't and just <em>love</em> to fire off tons of angry letters as if people are really supposed to give a shit.</span></li></ul><span style="font-family:verdana;">We sincerely hope that you accept these notes in the spirit in which they are given; which is to say, please amend your film promptly and accordingly.<br /><br />Very truly yours,</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><span style="color:#ffffff;">EM</span><span style="color:#ffffff;">EM</span></span>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-33487690446556576362009-06-18T11:33:00.005-04:002009-06-18T11:54:01.748-04:00Retro TV Schedule, Slightly Altered<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWHWQRtoAUh5f7I-ofZqQDOp-L8mk4hdKRpiyZz2ZPJu8Z9HbBh-_z5O3JVoFSRY5Q2-EIvPVt5AKKWr2WZj7AOyu5_Ule9Nt455qGh-QgZ0vz2Lyy7uNvt639nqMSEqIklf804Yo62rKG/s1600-h/Retro+TV.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348694293983724130" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 101px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWHWQRtoAUh5f7I-ofZqQDOp-L8mk4hdKRpiyZz2ZPJu8Z9HbBh-_z5O3JVoFSRY5Q2-EIvPVt5AKKWr2WZj7AOyu5_Ule9Nt455qGh-QgZ0vz2Lyy7uNvt639nqMSEqIklf804Yo62rKG/s200/Retro+TV.jpg" border="0" /></a> <span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>Marcus Welby, M.D. </strong>A kindly, unorthodox doctor differs with his strait-laced young partner as they tackle some common and not-so-common medical conditions ... like whooping herpes.<br /><br /><strong>Quincy, M.E. </strong>A Los Angeles medical examiner uses his medical training and intelligence to solve a mystery and prove that a foul deed caused a corpse to end up in the morgue ... Tony Randall does not stop by often enough.<br /><br /><strong>Kojak </strong>A tough, incorruptible, independent-minded, lollipop-licking police detective strives to keep the streets of New York City free of crime ... not as smokin' hot as it sounds.<br /><br /><strong>Dragnet </strong>A no-nonsense detective with the Los Angeles Police Department and his partner fight crime by tracking down criminals and bringing them to justice ... and lecturing hippies at length.<br /><br /><strong>The Incredible Hulk </strong>The adventures of scientist Bruce Banner, the unfortunate recipient of a lethal dose of gamma radiation that causes him to change into a furious green giant ... who'll smash his way straight to your funny bone!<br /><br /><strong>Knight Rider </strong>An undercover police officer teams up with a futuristic talking car to battle the criminal enemies of the Knight foundation ... a non-profit organization dedicated to providing voice over work for William Daniels.<br /><br /><strong>The A-Team </strong>An elite commando unit is unjustly sent to prison but they escape in order to form a team of soldiers of fortune who fight injustice and crime ... and fools, whom they pity.<br /><br /><strong>Magnum, P.I. </strong>A former Naval officer agrees to provide security for a millionaire in exchange for living on his estate while doing private investigation work on the side ... unaired final episode features surprise double wedding of Magnum, Higgins, and their mustaches.<br /><br /><strong>The Rockford Files </strong>An ex-con who was pardoned for a crime he didn't commit is an easy-going private investigator who takes on difficult cases with the help of his close friends ... absolutely everybody on the show looks like someone your dad used to hang out with.<br /><br /><strong>Simon & Simon </strong>Brothers Rick and A.J. Simon share daring exploits as they work together in their private investigations firm located in San Diego ... the one dude heard this a lot: "I'm sorry, but that part went to Ryan O'Neal," while the other got this: "They're going with Dabney Coleman."</span><br /><div><span style="color:#ffffff;">EM</span></div>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-80814718928974276932009-06-03T08:31:00.001-04:002009-06-03T08:31:00.311-04:00Ineffective Wrestlers<ul><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Kid Endnotes</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">The Masked Staples Associate</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Kamala the Ugandan Visiting Professor</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">The Cuddler</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Assistant to the Undersecretary of Pain</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">King Kong Fuckup</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Microsoft Wrestler, Millennium Edition</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Sgt. Tolerance</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>El Conejito</em></span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Lord Posture</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">The Repaginator</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Curt From Accounting</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">The Blogger</span></li></ul>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-487574466141059352009-05-29T10:29:00.005-04:002009-05-29T22:04:17.773-04:00A Message To Messrs. Craig & Jackman<span style="font-family:verdana;">----------------------------------------------<br /><strong>From</strong>: E. Myricks</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>Sent</strong>: Friday, May 29, 2009 9:51 AM</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>To</strong>: dc007@yahoo.com; huge-ackman@netzero.net</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>Subject</strong>: Something To Think About<br /><br />Hey guys:<br /><br />Saw the news in </span><a href="http://www.playbill.com/news/article/129588-Hugh_Jackman_and_Daniel_Craig_to_Team_for_Broadway_Play"><span style="font-family:verdana;">Playbill</span></a><span style="font-family:verdana;">. Very exciting! While I'm sure this "Rain" thing is fantastic, and, obviously, selling tix won't be a problem, I can't help but feel there are OTHER plays out there that would be EVEN MORE effective at pulling in your target audience (i.e. The Ladies from NJ).<br /><br />Attached, please find the following scripts for your consideration:<br /><br />· Tender Are the Shirtless<br />· Hold My Hand While I'm Dying of Something<br />· The Vagina Whisperer<br />· Mancakes & Sausage<br />· <em>Deux</em> Chefs!<br /><br />Take a gander and let me know what you think. I realize I'm not exactly a Broadway insider, but I think I know a little something about theatre ... my plays have been seen by tens of people in upwards of two cities (Boston AND Cambridge).<br /><br />Best,</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">EM</span>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-80983686515453796772009-05-28T15:40:00.004-04:002009-05-28T21:20:48.416-04:00Print In Peril<span style="font-family:verdana;">----------------------------------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>From:</strong> E. Myricks</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong><br />Sent:</strong> Thursday, May 28, 2009 3:40 PM</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>To:</strong> All Staff</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>Subject:</strong> Magazine Closings</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Due to ongoing declines in ad revenue, the </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">following underperforming titles will be shuttered as of June 1:</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Tiger Teen</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Smore Fancier</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Awkward Lad</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Modern Smelting</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Invalidated Science Digest</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Smug Cigar Chewer</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Lies From London!</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Autograph Fucker</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Popular Skank</span></li></ul><span style="font-family:verdana;">Many thanks to the entire staff for all their support over the years; excepting, of course, those in advertising who have killed us all and will never wipe clean the blood on their hands.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Regards,</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);font-family:Verdana;" >EM</span>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-9069347390830361802009-05-22T09:22:00.002-04:002009-05-22T09:29:05.116-04:00The Quiet Contest<span style="font-family:verdana;">Henry and his dad engage in an epic battle.</span><br /><br /><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyQbQ1Z_tLmkbzDud91YIXNmPNyxqyY5mpksZJedlD4ReDwlzoFmRZbMJFlm4eNbrBr-CtvEz0a94rthn5Jdg' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-69477906877503834482009-05-07T14:32:00.011-04:002009-05-07T15:02:04.471-04:00Enter The Tetragon<span style="font-family:verdana;">Four-sided polygon to some, mere quadrilateral to others, but to a hearty few, The Tetragon is an unforgiving space in which limits are tested and foes are bested.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><object width="480" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/nRKKiA3nLEA&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/nRKKiA3nLEA&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="295"></embed></object>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-51555049836337712242009-04-16T11:24:00.007-04:002009-04-16T12:18:35.425-04:00Office Vigilance<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIWKV_0tXQvGdoNdO31v1Jj5fziqDrV6KOpsZhoK1qtQzzb0da5OpsVDHaApmSV-kdT9V8BUUOUH2LmxU2y3WjIP5oF2lwd3w-v32QyL1rvSo39C7m1iykfSfIXOK0yaXk8utbc-ZAv4JS/s1600-h/ThreatLevel+(lg).jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5325314380086276322" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 293px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIWKV_0tXQvGdoNdO31v1Jj5fziqDrV6KOpsZhoK1qtQzzb0da5OpsVDHaApmSV-kdT9V8BUUOUH2LmxU2y3WjIP5oF2lwd3w-v32QyL1rvSo39C7m1iykfSfIXOK0yaXk8utbc-ZAv4JS/s400/ThreatLevel+(lg).jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKxuBICwSovIPftMZZL0BY1gr7Ri7nmm4UK_BECiQcT1p0b4zvj4MsLmnOZ05pPyXyOjBlEVMJxY0UykSpCPZcF_qrh9n4K33LJdtkuzRzUTA_EqCIg_lRVrjkGW9JjX0LFAp404xLarP5/s1600-h/ThreatLevel.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7Ntni_zvDb-a14xIgBVC0y20jnwPjS4xupyWLg4rIhN2jhWSMD7WqNlnrPepmoWqRDdRSEruVsKJoTyIu28noViDBBqG36mNY_7XW-zcd8lqrSgoAYmiRsZhShVZNtdHNsd_Upl-YaxmT/s1600-h/ThreatLevel.jpg"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-9318994514065701912009-03-26T13:09:00.002-04:002009-03-26T13:19:37.096-04:00Subsidiary Forced To Move Back In With Parent Company<span style="font-family:verdana;">After six years on their own, Eastern Wealth Partners has decided to move back in with parent company, G.F.M. Worldwide. No word yet where exactly the company will be staying as Eastern's old room was converted into a "sewing room" shortly after they started renting their own place downtown in June 2003. When it was suggested that Eastern could just squeeze into the guest room for the time being, the company was reminded that the cat took that room over "years ago."<br /><br />Though both parties agree the move is necessary, tensions are high as G.F.M. Worldwide has made a number of passive-aggressive comments about the amount of stuff Eastern is planning on bringing into already tight quarters.<br /><br />Executives with the firm have stated that the move is </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">"only temporary" and they plan on being back on their own in "six months ... a year, tops." Wall Street analysts as well as the company's girlfriend, Michele, are less optimistic.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#ffffff;">EM</span>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-80396462193360214372009-03-13T08:32:00.000-04:002009-03-13T08:32:00.372-04:00Prostitute Hit Hard By Economic Crisis, Pimp<span style="font-family:verdana;">Thanks to heavy market losses and the on-going credit crunch, people everywhere have been feeling the pinch, but, more often as of late, Krystal "Honey Dip" Novotny has also been feeling the bejewled-backhand of her mentor and business manager Troy "Dazz" Randazzo. Novotny reports that she hasn't seen this kind of "correction" since the fall of 2001 when Randazzo lost $633 on a dog fight.<br /><br />While consumers all across America become more familiar with the pain of belt-tightening, far fewer have had to get used to the sting of said belt across their already tender buttocks as has Novotny.<br /><br />"It's my own fault," says Novotny, a long time veteran of Randazzo's sales force who has twice been named his Top Lady. "Sure, times are tough, but Dazz said it best — </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">a good sales rep can transcend downturns in the market. It's obvious to me that I'm just no good and I deserve everything I get."<br /><br />Since the summer, Novotny has endured a 36% drop in volume as well as a broken arm, and she fears that things will worsen before they improve.<br /><br />"I'm hoping business will pick up in the spring, but I don't know," says Novotny. "Dazz says bitches like me have been ruining economies since the time of the ancient Rominians. I'm just now starting to understand where he's coming from."<br /><br />In an effort to boost sales, Novotny will be appearing near various ATMs in faux-satin stilettos and a tight-fitting t-shirt that reads "Show Me Your Stimulus Package."</span><br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">EM</span>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-39264312271255690842009-03-12T08:31:00.000-04:002009-03-12T08:31:00.147-04:00What Do You Think Our Our Post-Apocalyptic Wasteland Will Be Like?<ul><br /><li><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>Waterworld</em></span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>The Postman</em></span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>Swing Vote</em></span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Old Mall Near the Y</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Harry Dean Stanton's Dressing Room</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Nana's attic if Nana had marauding cannibals up there</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Comicon Phoenix</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Route 9 IHOP, 3:07 AM Thursday</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Cormac McCarthy's <em>The Road</em></span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Cormac McCarthy-penned episode of <em>Blossom </em>(unaired)</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Six Flags Fallujah</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">The Replacements van after <em>Hootenanny </em>tour</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Modesto only with more people wearing jumpsuits</span></li></ul><p><span style="color:#ffffff;">EM</span><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#ffffff;">EM</span></p>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-51703836333699413262009-03-10T16:21:00.002-04:002009-03-10T16:22:35.018-04:00Munchkin Index<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipSZkBVO3GgcDAcTdkfKVVsXi0Nh_gnkw2NSmzwxPJUS3kyd_y08r1Nf4scCxPs4pl8UJQVzvE1t46UeFY3DrBvAfilUeoInwxrfRlkws3sJoVsDgOOoV-4QiWfpLQcldA6B7YyDdhxsQo/s1600-h/Munchkin.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311656971975890962" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 337px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 235px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipSZkBVO3GgcDAcTdkfKVVsXi0Nh_gnkw2NSmzwxPJUS3kyd_y08r1Nf4scCxPs4pl8UJQVzvE1t46UeFY3DrBvAfilUeoInwxrfRlkws3sJoVsDgOOoV-4QiWfpLQcldA6B7YyDdhxsQo/s400/Munchkin.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-57866316012745740872009-03-03T21:43:00.002-05:002009-03-03T21:56:31.009-05:00The Good News<ul><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Mideast Peace Talks To Resume Aboard Willie Nelson's Tour Bus</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Study: A Little Bacon Won't Kill Ya</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">New Principal Friendlier Than You'd Think</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Favorite Seat Vacant</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Opinion: Isn't It Nice How All The Temptations Get A Turn?</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Enough For Another Bowl Of Corn Pops Left</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Seinfeld Rerun Not From Season One</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Living Beatles Get Along, Dead Beatles Get Along</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Critics Agree: Your Version Of Shitty Movie Would Have Been Better</span></li></ul>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-340987260675808942009-03-02T16:14:00.003-05:002009-03-02T16:16:26.283-05:00G.a.S. Index<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxE9Sqt8bsjFIp60VJaSOuzkQTDaebLQM8wnH66xrrZb-kC5prbJ3WqTbUCtucyfee5TfoGyhJz133BDitonwzX2czOff1i6DUBYfBZHsB5Q8Tcg1o5OijjEIbLdrOMwfxU8qfiFVz0koi/s1600-h/Index.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5308701989891991842" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 337px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 235px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxE9Sqt8bsjFIp60VJaSOuzkQTDaebLQM8wnH66xrrZb-kC5prbJ3WqTbUCtucyfee5TfoGyhJz133BDitonwzX2czOff1i6DUBYfBZHsB5Q8Tcg1o5OijjEIbLdrOMwfxU8qfiFVz0koi/s400/Index.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-32138364701876081702009-02-06T22:15:00.003-05:002009-02-06T22:37:16.582-05:00Don't Tell Kenny Loggins You Love "The Gambler"<span style="font-family:verdana;">If ever you find yourself in an elevator in Century City and realize you're standing next to Kenny Loggins, here are a few helpful hints:</span><br /><ul><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Do not tell him you love "The Gambler."</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">When he asks, incredulously, "What did you say?" do not reply, "You know … 'The Gambler' … <em>'On a warm summer's eve…'</em> Fuckin' classic."</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Do not be surprised when he says in response, "That's Kenny <em>Rogers</em>, you doucher."</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">If he pulls out a Best Pop Vocal Grammy for "This Is It," points at the engraving and says, "Read that back to me. What does that say?" do as he says. Read it aloud.</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">Do not snort after he asks, "Gonna ask me about <em>Six Pack</em> next? Goon." </span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">VERY IMPORTANT: Do not apologize for your error as this will only fuel his indignation and produce comments such as: "You want to know the difference between Kenny Loggins and Kenny Rogers? How many Kenny Rogers hits did Kenny Rogers <em>write</em>? Yeah. And how many Kenny Loggins hits did Kenny Loggins write? Exactly. You go up to Kenny Rogers and say, "'Nightwatch'?… Killer stuff." That's an upgrade. Kenny Rogers gets an instant upgrade. You confuse <em>me </em>with Kenny <em>Rogers</em> … that's a kick in the taint. Seriously. This one isn't on Kenny Loggins … this one's on you."</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">And, lastly, do not perform the <em>Caddyshack</em> gopher dance behind his back as he's exiting the elevator.</span></li></ul><p><span style="color:#ffffff;">EM</span></p>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-15434592219994605992009-02-03T08:29:00.003-05:002009-02-03T09:10:42.908-05:00Springsteen Hastily Reworks Super Bowl Setlist During 2nd Quarter<span style="font-family:verdana;">Bruce Springsteen was thrown into a panic on Sunday when he and the E-Street Band arrived at Tampa Bay's Raymond James Stadium late in the second quarter and saw the size of the venue in which they were to perform.<br /><br />"As everyone knows, I'm most comfortable in an intimate setting," said Springsteen. "Imagine my surprise when Roy [Bittan, pianist] pulled the van up to this monstrosity and said, 'Well, folks, unless Google Maps is dead wrong, this is it.'"<br /><br />According to Springsteen, the original set list included "Mary Queen of Arkansas," and a suite of songs from <em>Devils and Dust</em>. The closer was to be "This Hard Land" from his 1998 closet-cleaning box set <em>Tracks</em>. </span><br /><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">"The original plan was to go all acoustic</span><span style="font-family:verdana;">. Thank goodness Max was already out in the parking lot tailgating with Conan and those guys. It was just dumb luck that </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">he had drums in his camper at all."</span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br />While The Boss still questions whether or not "Glory Days" was "the exact right song" to pull out during a sporting event, </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">he's thankful that the gospel choir he ran into backstage agreed to join him on "Working On A Dream."</span></p><p><span style="font-family:Verdana;">"I'm telling you, if the Cardinals didn't ask to review that James Harrison interception right before the half, I don't think we would have had time to teach it to them."<br /><br />Going forward, Springsteen's wife/road manager Patti Scialfa has vowed to do a better job obtaining more specific information concerning venue. Next up for the E-Streeters is a battle of the bands at Señor Taco's in Warrensburg, Missouri.<br /><span style="color:#ffffff;">EM</span></span></p>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-1884843888743204492009-01-19T11:03:00.002-05:002009-01-19T21:22:19.956-05:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXqu26waJglpX6-T-Ca52SlQ8aSBaD0oWF0taKEG9iU1c2vO1colOV9R7sgow4sg032V-HYw66RR9-5DdFgt03BcOjaenAqAis9ElwUD3eBoxuybHF67Y4fUF2z8Q1MVolUsxwV8m1WLzI/s1600-h/Wrigley2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293195477191444290" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 322px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXqu26waJglpX6-T-Ca52SlQ8aSBaD0oWF0taKEG9iU1c2vO1colOV9R7sgow4sg032V-HYw66RR9-5DdFgt03BcOjaenAqAis9ElwUD3eBoxuybHF67Y4fUF2z8Q1MVolUsxwV8m1WLzI/s400/Wrigley2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqV2nvitXHpRmL870ZkdLBTj2giUDgfKvrL2Mayf0h44-W-x5K_e51Y7FQ3XuJydPdiyOqPgR1LdMtdgqY1Ks2HS72cIfRsb5rKisLF-E4xIADYy4gEYHQdA_H3ElYZShqS-GeoVshvIEb/s1600-h/Wrigley.jpg"></a><br /><br /><div></div></div>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-69644055217982315742008-12-04T08:40:00.005-05:002008-12-04T08:54:56.083-05:00Gen X-er Wonders Why She's Never Heard of "Mystery Men"<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0FcTACBx9zVH6d6v2V86CQvfSTMzNPiPsjDU6zTHbqhwoJDQUyg8vMMCHY6RYCvEfGaT3yRzUondoTFNIF6FYdgapIyrSI08QHwULcz10KEHfZlsDmbIkinrDeScRCksMaxHZ_XyJhefj/s1600-h/mystery_men_poster.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5275929506452924050" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 140px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0FcTACBx9zVH6d6v2V86CQvfSTMzNPiPsjDU6zTHbqhwoJDQUyg8vMMCHY6RYCvEfGaT3yRzUondoTFNIF6FYdgapIyrSI08QHwULcz10KEHfZlsDmbIkinrDeScRCksMaxHZ_XyJhefj/s200/mystery_men_poster.JPG" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:verdana;">Ten minutes into a syndicated broadcast of <em>Mystery Men</em>, a thirtysomething mother of two wondered aloud how she missed the very existence of this superhero comedy originally released in 1999.<br /><br />"I mean, look at this thing ... Bill Macy, Hank Azaria, Geoffrey Rush, Eddie Izzard, Janeane Garofalo ... these are some of my favorite people," said the puzzled viewer. "Tom Waits is in it. Paul Reubens. I think I even saw Louise Lasser in there. And, yeah, I'm not the biggest Ben Stiller fan, but in 1999 he was still kind of on the <em>Mr. Show </em>side of the fence. How is it possible that this movie utterly failed to enter my realm of consciousness before tonight?"<br /><br />After remarking on Greg Kinnear's not unfunny portrayal of Captain Amazing, the woman continued, "Maybe I was busy at the time, but it came out before the kids came along, so ... really ... how busy could I have been?"<br /><br />Watching up to the third commercial break – not thoroughly unamused but less than completely engaged in the comedic plot involving low-rent superheroes such as The Shoveler and The Bowler – the woman opted to abandon the film and check out the Ricky Gervais stand-up special a friend had burned for her instead.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;color:#ffffff;">EM</span>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-49084695430665826162008-12-03T08:12:00.001-05:002008-12-03T08:15:23.112-05:00Dude Mourns Don Knotts Two Years Too Late<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL9wgDCtdFg0wFf_2fM9piQC2yFBx4q6dd3FIEoeSfphHkLi0yv8sujkGA7zAc_GoloyUkb6Ly_UwjO5ljoJUilpF2CpxzZC2YPFuQ_uhwPLUaXPXprPN-Fllbh8yerq5QV5qgRatJdgL1/s1600-h/DonKnotts.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5250037735895121330" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL9wgDCtdFg0wFf_2fM9piQC2yFBx4q6dd3FIEoeSfphHkLi0yv8sujkGA7zAc_GoloyUkb6Ly_UwjO5ljoJUilpF2CpxzZC2YPFuQ_uhwPLUaXPXprPN-Fllbh8yerq5QV5qgRatJdgL1/s400/DonKnotts.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-family:verdana;">So we're watching that terrible show where the comics are sitting around pretending to have an actual conversation but they're really just doing their acts, and what's-her-face's roommate says something about Don <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Knotts</span> being dead.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So I'm like, "Barney Fife? Mr. Limpet? No way." </span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br />Of course, I'm totally bummed, so I hop on the web to see if I can get some more info, and I start seeing all this shit from February '06.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Wait a second ... </span><span style="font-family:verdana;">Don <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Knotts</span> has been dead since February '06 and I'm just hearing about it now?<br /><br />So now I'm even <em>more</em> bummed … like I betrayed him in some way, you know?<br /><br />Cut to yesterday, I'm talking to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Hutchins</span> … just general talk ... and I bring up Don <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Knotts</span> and my feelings of guilt, and he goes: "Dude, we talked about this, like, two years ago, 'member? What's-her-face's roommate was seeing that guy from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Cranston</span> and we were all at that bar and the old guy working the door with the terrible tattoo brought up <em>The Ghost and Mr. Chicken</em> and you were like, "Did you guys hear that Don <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Knotts</span> died?"<br /><br />So now I'm kinda torn between being really, supremely bummed and not bummed at all: not bummed because it turns out I <em>did</em> pay my respects to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ol</span>' D.K., but <em>supremely</em> bummed because, clearly, my brain is rusting out from under me.<br /><br />But whatever, this isn't about me. This is about Don <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Knotts</span> being dead. May angels sing you to your rest, funny man. Retroactively.<br /><br />Is it true that Paul Newman died?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">What a shit-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">assed</span> world.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="color:#ffffff;">EM</span> <span style="color:#ffffff;">@</span> </span>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2379654501046948230.post-73040269614913568222008-12-01T08:27:00.021-05:002008-12-01T09:01:24.948-05:00Popular Thanksgiving Exclamations<ul><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"Let's eat!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"Everything looks so delicious!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"Nice job, mom!" (sincere)</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"Nice job, mom!" (sarcastic)</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"Of course I'm drunk!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"I don't hate <em>you</em> just everything <em>about</em> you!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"It ain't Thanksgiving until someone pees on dessert!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"He's not <em>my </em>President-Elect, toots!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">"You want the bird, go in the alley and eat the bird!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"I prefer squash pie ... and dudes!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">"Dear lord, do the Lions bite!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">"We get it! The white man is to blame! Just pass the goddam cranberry sauce!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"She's my sister <em>and </em>my daughter!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"Nobody wants to hear your stupid song, Sufjan!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"Those aren't parsnips!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:verdana;">"Hey, kid! No fries in the ball-pit!"</span></li><li><span style="font-family:Verdana;">"Hey-oh!"</span></li></ul><p><span style="font-family:verdana;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5274820352822567922" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 250px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs8UkAOAqtjURcxx6o-13Q1aItLU-FFUpyAeGRCcdQ-UXiSpmiSEZ3YyHDsjiWgt1xPsTCbPBfsNoZBVSt6FoBKP8gd0TiYuhP2NlNXDIlOoKfaVzQ1m6FNKcVh6Bc5MdsTDv6LAF0sLA9/s320/bush-turkey-mad.jpg" border="0" /></span></p><p></p>Eddie Myrickshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08481014206809501159noreply@blogger.com0