Lies I've Told My Son

• Television is closed.
  
• Those rabbits aren't for sale.
  
• It's only going to hurt for a second.
  
• I have no idea what happened to that thing that plays "Do you know the muffin man?" every time you press the button.
  
• You're going to love school!
  
• The dog went to live with the vet.
  
• Your Barney disk is broken.
  
• That's not an ice cream truck, it's just a music truck.
  
• The Disney Store isn't open on [Sundays, Mondays, etc.]
  
• I don't have any more quarters.
  
• iPods don't have a "repeat" function.
• Maybe later.