Why 'They Will Use You For Food'?

Because they will. Mark my words. I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's good, I'm just saying...

Don't be surprised when you find yourself sitting there all calm and happy and all of a sudden...gomp...you're being eaten.

I'm not wishing it upon you, I'm just giving you a heads up. You can tell them I told you it would happen when it happens. Because it will happen. And I will have been right.

Unless I'm wrong.

In which case, I will owe you an apology.

Sorry.

I should not have italicized that. That was snarky. I apologize.

For real this time. No snark. Please accept my apology.

Please?

Please, oh, wise and gentle sir, if you would, step momentarily from your pale and mighty, high-arsed horse...

That wasn't fair. I'm probably just all worked up because of what's going to happen...you getting used for food and all.

Hopefully it won't happen. (It will.) But what do I know? (I know they will use you for food.)

Maybe you'll get lucky, and nothing will happen, and we'll both have a hearty laugh while you point out all the gooey bits of egg running down my face.

Or else you will have been used for food and all will be tears.

We're neither of us soothsayers.

Forget what I was saying before. They won't use you for food.

Probably.