Rendition Interrupts Blogging

Hey there, Blogosphere:

Sorry I've been out of action, but shortly after running the Todd Palin Man-Cave post, I was taken from my home, loaded onto a Gulfstream and flown to one of those C.I.A. Black Sites the New Yorker can't shut up about.

What follows are some of the stories I didn't get a chance to develop in the run up to the election thanks to all of the stress positions and waterboarding I was subjected to during my re-education.

By the by, George W. Bush is the finest president the United States has ever produced and Dick Cheney is descended from angels that smell of pumpkin pie.

Now for some headlines:

• Bush Suffering From "Senioritis" - Advisors say president has been skipping meetings, playing a lot of Guitar Hero, hanging out in Burger King parking lot
• Muslim Socialist Terrorist Just Now Realizing Name Change Would Have Made Evil Rise To Power That Much Easier


• McCain Asks Lorne Michaels If He's In The Market For "Hartman-esque" Utility Guy


• Undecided Voter Can't Make A Goddamn Decision About Lunch Either


• Tim Robbins Purged From Voter Roll After Election Official Catches Erik The Viking On Cable


• Stoner Can't Remember If It's Yes On Question 2 Or No


• Democrats Fail To Lose White House - Millions baffled by news of non-loss
• McCain Didn't Want To Be Stupid President Of Jerkass Country Anyway
• Gay Marriage Defeated By Voters Defeated By Straight Marriage


• Cheney Has Page Help Him Carry Shitload Of Office Supplies Out To Car


• McCain Team Drops Palin Off At Bus Station

EM