Bush Apologizes for Ruining Country and Stuff

Last evening, shortly after supper, President George W. Bush knocked on the nation's front door and delivered a mumbled forty-five second apology while his father, former President George H.W. Bush, stood behind him on the nation's walkway.

"Sorry I crashed your country," muttered Bush, eyes downcast, hands jammed in his pockets.

"And?..." prompted H.W. from the shadows.

"And I'm sorry about all the war stuff and the crummy economy."

"And?..." interjected the elder Bush with growing impatience.

"And the torture and Katrina and everything ... Can we go now?"

The senior Bush then took his son by the ear, apologized for his son's dreadful behavior, and led the president back to the car, where mother Barbara Bush awaited.

Witnesses report that as the car was pulling away, the president received a swift backhand from his mother, who advised the leader of the free world not to cry lest she "give [him] something to cry about."

Top administration officials report that Bush has lost all PlayStation privileges for a month and can only go online for "work-related purposes."

EM