Client Services Associate Prefers Garfield As Is

The other day, some of the younger folks over here at Harmond & Kirker – the insurance agency not the pencil sharpener distributor – were all huddled together just giggling away. When I went over to see what the hubbub was all about, they pointed to the monitor, and showed me this:




I must have stared at that thing for a good minute-and-a-half before finally asking, "So, what were you all laughing about?"

Maybe I'm not a real "with-it" sort of gal, but if you take Garfield out of Garfield, what have you got? A whole lot of nothing as far as I'm concerned. Sure, there's Jon, occasionally Odie, but where are the quips, the truisms, the cat-titude?

I find this to be sick humor, I really do. Sick in the sense that it mocks Jim Davis' vision rather than celebrates it. And Davis does have vision, make no mistake. The merchandising alone: cards, coffee mugs ... there have even been movies! Starring Bill "Larger Than Life" Murray! Sure, he probably only did it so he could afford to make those "artsy" movies, but still ... he must have had some connection to the source material in order to pull off the character effectively. And pull it off he most certainly did.

What I'm saying is, Garfield is pretty darn funny the way it is, and if you can't see that, maybe you need to take a good, hard look in the mirror. Maybe a mirror in a church.

When was the last time any of those snide, young hipsters at work stepped foot inside a church? Probably burst into flames if they did. I know they laugh at me. Don't think I don't hear it. They steal my yogurts, too. I'm not sure who, probably the little one who really pushes it on casual Fridays. I should set a trap. Wouldn't be so quick to filch a Stonyfield BaNilla once she lost a finger. I'd be in the right, too. Food thieves are the lowest form of office life.

Get off on a tangent much? Anyhoo...

My point is, you wouldn't take that little king guy out of the Wizard of Id. You wouldn't take Cathy out of Cathy. Please leave Garfield where he belongs.

Actually, you probably would take Cathy out of Cathy, you sickos.

I hope you get the help you need, I really do. I'm praying for you.
EM