Perhaps This Temper Tantrum Will Persuade You

Dearest Mother:

While I appreciate you allowing me to accompany you on this excursion to Target – might I say that I am particularly elated to be riding in the main section of the cart rather than the far more constraining upper berth as the authorities would prefer – there is still the matter of Halloween candy that, much to my chagrin, has brought us to this uniquely odious impasse.

Though I understand full well that I have yet to consume my evening victuals, and that a mound of Skittles does not and cannot constitute a quote-unquote "nutritious snack," neither of these observations hold sway as I am deeply desirous of said Skittles, and I insist on being granted license to consume copious amounts forthwith.

I discern from your expression and from the hushed though insistent snake-like hiss you are now employing in your voice that we remain at odds on this Skittles-consuming score. Perhaps a temper tantrum will allow you to see things from my perspective.

Bear in mind that it concerns me not who stops to watch my eruption, nor how my behavior may reflect upon you as a caregiver, all that matters to me is being allowed the opportunity to shove fistfuls of rainbow-colored goodness into my gaping maw. And should you fail to meet my demands, I VOW TO SUMMON THE WRATH OF SHIVA THE DESTROYER TO RAIN DEVASTATION UPON YOUR PITIABLE HEAD! I WILL REND SINEW FROM BONE! I WILL REDUCE YOU TO CINDERS! I WILL—

Why, thank you, Mother, they're just as delicious as I'd anticipated.

Now, if it's not too much trouble, I should like to visit the toy aisle next.
@