Elderly Deserve Respect, Organs

It's corny, perhaps—some might consider it downright old-fashioned—but it happens to be a sentiment, no matter how many times I hear it, that gets me nodding my gray head in agreement:

Old folks deserve your respect. And your vital organs.

Think of what the elderly have lived through, the sacrifices they've made: The Great Depression. WWII. Don't you think fortitude such as that deserves your healthy liver? I should think so.

Silently slaving to put their coddled, baby boomer children through college … you can't give up an eye or two in appreciation?

Imagine, in your lifetime, going from the horse-drawn carriage to the Prius; from flappers to hippies, to yuppies, to Gen X-ers, to whatever the ungrateful young monsters are called nowadays. As a senior, I can tell you that it's been quite a challenging era in which to live. And I could really use a kidney.

When you find yourself aged and fading, wouldn't you like to know that you can count on your progeny to give up an organ to replace the one you're planning on giving me right now?

I see.

If that's your answer, then.

I should hope for your sake that the youth of today won't be as stingy with their body parts as you're being with yours.

Don't try and back-pedal now. What's done is done. I can see you want to leave. Go on, then, leave. No one's stopping you.

I wouldn't want to visit a tired old woman in need of a kidney either.

Even if she did bring me life.

Go.

But don't go away mad in case this is our last—

I am not being morbid, I'm being realistic. Whatever happens, I don't want you feeling guilty.

Even though your guilt will be great.

I want you to enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself the way I always hoped to but never could as I was always too poor and sick from the sacrifices I made ensuring your well-being.

No, you know what ... I don't even want it now. No. Keep it. Put it back. I won't take it. I wouldn't take it. Because you're only doing it under protest. If you were offering it up willingly …

Really?

Don't say "yes" unless you mean it because I'll believe you.

Okay, then.

Thank you, dear.

You've made your mother very happy.

There's some Bactine in the cabinet, let's get you cleaned up.
EM